Bon voyage

Add your name to this petition to get Jeff Bezos to make his space ticket a one way

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos holds a press conference to unveil the Kindle 2, the latest version of Ama...


The number of names added to the "Do not allow Jeff Bezos to return to Earth" petition.


Jeff Bezos and his brother, Mark, are scheduled to jettison themselves into the cold void of space on July 20, alongside an auction winner who paid $28 million for their seat and one additional passenger (presumably with at least some degree of aeronautic experience). The trip is scheduled to last 11-minutes aboard the New Shepard — the reusable rocket designed and built by Bezos’ spacefaring glamour project, Blue Origin. At least 50,000 people would like that flight time to last much, much longer.

As NPR reports, multiple petitions are making their rounds online calling for Bezos and his wealth-hoarding co-passengers to remain adrift in space forever. The forefront signature list is currently the “Do not allow Jeff Bezos to return to Earth” petition, the name of which pretty much speaks for itself, and which has garnered over 50,000 names in support of the long-overdue project.

“Billionaires should not exist...on earth, or in space, but should they decide the latter they should stay there,” reads the petition’s description, authored by “the proletariat.”

Send them to Mars — “If they can send a billionaire to Mars why can’t they send them all there?” asks one signatory in the comment section, a question which we ponder ourselves while lying sleepless in our beds almost every night.

“Do not allow Jeff Bezos to return to Earth” is aiming for 75,000 names, presumably at which time Bezos will be honor-bound to respect it... that’s how petitions work, right? While we will not miss the Brothers Bezos,r nor their $28 million ticketed companion, we would feel a slight tinge of sadness for that fourth hypothetical pilot... but we promise to erect a monument honoring their brave sacrifice when the time comes.

Ruining Earth while trying to leave it — In the meantime, Bezos seems totally fine with ruining the one planet we’ve currently got as he makes his plans to leave Earth behind. Earlier today, a bombshell report courtesy of British outlet ITV News detailed the shocking amount of completely unnecessary waste being generated at a single Amazon warehouse in the U.K., encompassing upwards of 130,000 brand new or lightly used items sent to waste facilities every week. According to anonymous ex-employees, literally millions of completely usable items have been destroyed over the years.

Between the exposé and these latest petitions, it’s certainly already been a Prime Day for the history books.