FBI’s Washington Field Office Twitter account, struck by Cupid’s arrow, decided to host an extremely bizarre Valentine’s Day Q&A regarding online romance scams. You know, to get everyone in the mood.
To make matters weirder, the FBI roped in other field offices like Las Vegas, Springfield, and Kansas City to “ask” questions, presumably because no one in their right mind would take the Federal Bureau of Investigation up on free love life advice. Vegas FBI agents, for example, are apparently curious about “how to know if you've fallen victim to a romance scam,” to which their wise-in-the-ways-of-love compatriots in Washington respond, “If an online beau says they love you within a few days or weeks of first messaging you, beware. These scammers try to build relationships quickly, so they can steal as much money as possible from you.”
To announce the special holiday event, the FBI also tweeted a photo including a spin on the Meatloaf lyric, “I would do anything for love / But I won’t do that.”
Meatloaf died last month from COVID-19. Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody.
The tension is palpable — Not to be outdone by their longtime governmental rivals, the ATF is also getting into the Valentine’s Day spirit with its own brand of festive social media marketing. “Valentine's Day can still be fun even if you broke up. Do you have information about a former (or current) partner involved in illegal gun activity? Let us know, and we will make sure it's a Valentine's Day to remember!” the ATF posted earlier today — yes, I am completely serious. Below is a screenshot for posterity’s sake, just in case they pull a Waco again and pretend it never happened.
We’re still waiting on the NSA to post a Tik-Tok How-To on encrypting your private nudes.