Elon Musk demos overhyped game on his overhyped car

Elon Musk, Technoking of Tesla, unveiled his car company’s latest luxury electric vehicle last night to the literal “ooh’s” and “aahs” of bro-loyalists everywhere — the Model S “Plaid.” Musk says the new model is the “quickest production vehicle ever made,” allegedly capable of going 0-60 mph in under 2 seconds... hence the “Plaid” addendum, which is in reference to a Spaceballs joke, because of course it is.

The Model S Plaid also now features a horizontal touchscreen like its Model 3 and Y siblings, a digital instrument cluster behind the steering wheel, as well as rear-seat wireless phone chargers and additional video screens. Among the EV’s myriad shiny updates is also a genuinely hefty “infotainment” system running on AMD’s Ryzen processor and RDNA 2 GPU.

So, what does so much overkill get you for a nearly $130,000 price tag? An actual, unexaggerated autopilot system? Stock options paid out in Dogecoin? A free Neuralink monkey?

Nope, Cyberpunk 2077. It gets you the ability to play accursed Cyberpunk 2077 in your car.

AAA games, AAA price tag — Yes, that’s right. For the low, low price of — we must repeat — $130,000, you can get an electric car that may or may not have quality control issues, which is capable of playing last year’s most quality-control-issue riddled video game.

That said, the Model S Plaid’s infotainment system boasts a genuinely impressive 10 teraflops of power (essentially the same as a PlayStation 5), so sure, having a next-gen console installed in your car is a fun perk... It’s also classic Tesla, considering it seems to take most of its naming conventions straight from the mind of a teenage boy (remember the S3XY shorts?).

The Tesla “controller” says it all — And then there’s the Tesla controller. Multiple people have since posted images on Reddit appearing to showcase a Tesla steering wheel-inspired gaming controller. And yet... those same photos also feature an Xbox controller resting on the dashboard, which can also apparently been seen being used during the in-car Cyberpunk 2077 demo.

This leads us to believe the Tesla “controller” is probably a cheeky dummy prop concocted by the Technoking and his court jesters, which certainly tracks. If this is the case, it really sums up the whole Plaid reveal — a gaudy, unnecessary, overly expensive, and ultimately pointless accessory accessible only by the uber-wealthy despite the entire world’s pressing need for affordable vehicles running on clean energy.