Dumb RV accessory for the dumb Tesla Cybertruck raised a dumb $50 million

What in the polygonal hell is this?

Tesla’s Cybertruck isn’t real yet, so it stands to reason that none of its accessories are, either. But, just like Elon Musk himself, that hasn’t stopped third-party companies from hopping on the ephemeral bandwagon with all kinds of ridiculous add-ons. One of the most ludicrous of the bunch is undoubtedly the CyberLandr™, an RV attachment which made its unholy debut nearly a month ago. The CyberLandr™ (the company makes sure to include the “™” each time, and damnit, we will, too) has no physical prototype, no estimated release date, and no detailed size specs... but that hasn’t stopped it from raising $50 million from pre-order deposits. Yes. $50 million.

Feel free to have a look at the one-minute concept announcement video featuring graphics and a soundtrack straight out of the original Halo game, an aesthetic that makes sense given the horrific team-up attempts of the recent past. If you are somehow convinced of the CyberLandr™’s worth and have money to literally burn, you can still put in either a $1000 or $100 down payment, which will knock a respective 12 percent and 10 percent off the glamping add-on’s nearly $50,000 price tag.

“Does Not Include Cybertruck.” Thank God.CyberLandr™

Leave home without ever having to leave home — Assuming the CyberLandr™ makes good on all its promises (lol), it will definitely enter the “Campers for People Who Don’t Know How to Camp” pantheon. According to the company’s website, each Cybertruck add-on will include such amenities as a “Chef’s Kitchen,” 32” 4K UHD Smart TV with surround sound, alarm system, “spa-inspired” bathroom, free-standing detachable seats, and a full Starlink setup so you never need to unplug from society, no matter how far you are physically removed from it.

A true test for Tesla — Absurdist dystopian accessories aside, Tesla’s Cybertruck will be a major test for the company as it seeks to expand beyond its flagship car models... unless Tesla wants to go all-in on just straight-up gold-dipped editions. Scalability, not to mention reliability (and safety, and eco-friendliness), has always been an issue for Musk’s EV maker, so it’s hard to see how the Cybertruck’s rollout will be completely free from road bumps. No puns intended.

Of course, the first purchasers of toys like the Cybertruck and its accompanying CyberLandr™ generally aren’t all that worried about consequences, so they can literally afford to sink tens of thousands of dollars into vapor-transportation without much thought. It’s enough to make you want to leave all this ridiculousness and go live out in the middle of nowhere. At least, until the CyberLandr™ Cybertrucks start to arrive.