These creepy Suicoke Chelsea boots have toes, if you’re into that

Hate Tabis? You’ll hate these even more.

Suicoke x TAKAHIROMIYASHITATheSoloist Vibram FiveFinger Chelsea boots

Those looking to level up from their Tabis can now opt for boots with all ten toes. Japanese brands Suicoke and TAKAHIROMIYASHITATheSoloist are continuing their fascination with the Vibram FiveFinger look, merging the digit-heavy design with classic black Chelsea boots. The result is a shoe as unhinged as anyone that dares to wear it.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time Vibram’s horrific FiveFingers have toed their way into the fashion world. Balenciaga put forward a similar boot, complete with a technical heel, in 2020 to the delight of foot fetishists (and the chagrin of everyone else). Even worse, late last year, Suicoke tapped fellow Japanese brand Midorikawa to debut a pair of nude FiveFingers with toenails. Painted and unpainted versions were available to add to the optical illusion.

Barefoot booties — The introduction of the FiveFinger Chelsea boot only keeps us further on our toes (or perhaps, curls your own digits in disgust). Up top, the shoe is surprisingly luxe, done up in glossy black vegan leather. Elasticated side panels and a zipper help ease the process of slipping your foot in and out of the boot. That’s probably a good thing, too, the vegan leather will probably leave your dogs sweating severely.

Imagine your toes in these any day over 60 degrees. Suicoke

Of course, no one would notice your disgustingly sweaty feet thanks to the shoe’s stomach-churning toe details. Like previous FiveFinger footwear, the boots feature Vibram’s rubber sole technology around each toe, while additional rubber peeks out at the heel and arch to flaunt a bright yellow Vibram logo. You’ll have premium traction in these boots, especially considering you have the option to wrap your toes around whatever you’re walking on.

Dip your toes into FiveFingers — Outdoor enthusiasts have long loved Vibram’s FiveFingers, but the digit-decorated Chelsea boots offer a more formal (?) alternative. If, for some reason, you’re inclined to grab a pair of the Suicoke x TAKAHIROMIYASHITATheSoloist shoes, you can find them at TheSoloist flagships stores. You’ll have to hire a proxy if you can’t make it to a physical location, however, as the boots are only available online at Suicoke’s Japanese web store. The FiveFinger Chelsea boots will only cost you $430... and your dignity.

Premium traction allows you to easily run away from disgusted stares and weird commentary. Suicoke