Gucci's unhinged app includes retro arcade games and horsey wallpapers

Much like their maker, the games are simultaneously stylish and kitsch, brilliant but gaudy.

Fashion house Gucci has updated its Android and iOS apps to include the Gucci Arcade. Why? Well, why not, darling? We’re all at home anyway. And while many of us have curtailed our spending on fashion — whether because we feel too strange about it, because we’re redirecting our sartorial budgets to face masks, or because being housebound has shifted our aesthetic sensibilities and spending to horticulture — it’s still comforting to engage with the brands we love and to be reminded they'll still be there when we’re finally able to go out and be seen wearing them again.

Something for everyone — The games include Mascara Hunt (tenpin bowling for, umm, mascara), Psychedelic (a space-based shooter, that’s iPhone-only for now), Gucci Lips (pinball, but with lipstick tubes for paddles), Gucci Grip (a skateboarding dodge-and-jump game), Gucci Ace (table tennis), and Gucci Bee (Pacman, but with Gucci’s iconic bee as the protagonist), and each is imbued with a hat-tip to an iconic item, pattern, or motif from the Italian luxury brand.

Mascara bowling.Gucci

Each title looks like the kind of thing we might’ve played on an early Pentium computer or the sort of cartridge-based console where troubleshooting meant blowing imaginary dust from the bottom of cartridges... except they're in HD and they make us want to say "ciao" a lot and drink Pernod. Players can collect badges for the individual games that’ll unlock a backstory for each.

Lipstick smears and a tiny spectating poodle. Perfect.Gucci

More than just games — The app also includes a virtual tour of Gucci’s “No Space, Just A Place” exhibition that’s underway at the Daelim Museum in Seoul, South Korea, and a look at recent collections, like the label’s collaboration with painter Yuko Higuchi for its new children’s range.

Because nothing says "luxury" like a horse.Gucci

It’s also home to Gucci’s podcast, videos and stills of its latest runway collections, and AR-based features that let you virtually try on items of clothing, or see what Gucci decor might look like in your home. But the best bit? The selection of wallpapers, some of them from recent collections, some of them tied to the new arcade feature, and one particularly glorious selection of high-fashion shots with an equine theme.

Frankly, the whole Gucci app is gloriously kitsch and over the top and a welcome distraction from the perils of the real world. If games aren’t your thing, hop into the AR try-on section and don a pair of shades you know you’ll never buy. Snap a picture and that’s your new social media headshot sorted. Plus, the app is probably the most affordable fun you can with anything that carries Gucci’s name.

The tyranny of choice.Gucci