Elon Musk can sell his legion anything. Boring Not-A-Flamethrower? Easy. Tesla Tequila? Easiest $250 per bottle the ‘Technoking’ has ever made off fools. And who can forget the ‘S3XY’ booty shorts. Haha!
Musk tested the loyalty of Tesla nerds today with a $50 “Cyberwhistle.” It’s exactly what you think it is: a metal whistle sculpted in the silhouette of the Cybertruck, which missed its 2021 release and is delayed until next year.
Like good doggos who obey a whistle, Tesla fans snapped up the overpriced metal trinket. The “premium collectible made from medical-grade stainless steel with a polished finish” is listed as sold out as of this writing and is unlikely to be restocked. Ever.
Not to fret, you can ogle at what you couldn’t purchase below. (Of course, Tesla’s website had to format these images not in JPEG to make it friggin’ hard for me to do my job.)
Other details include “an integrated attachment feature for added versatility” whatever that means. But who cares? It’s a Tesla dongle.
Final sale — If you were lucky — or dumb — enough to snap up this $50 whistle, do note that “Cyberwhistles are final sale” as per the fine print on the product description. FINAL SALE.
There’s no fine print on reselling the Cyberwhistle for double or triple retail on eBay or StockX to anyone who desperately wants Elon senpai to validate their existence.
Always trolling — In true Elon fashion, the Tesla CEO and dogecoin lover took to Twitter to shill the Cyberwhistle and take a shot at Apple, one of his favorite punching bags.
First up, a swipe at whistleblowers. Someone do it! Release the papers. He’s literally asking you guys to.
In a reply tweet, Elon said “Don’t waste your money on that silly Apple Cloth, buy our whistle instead!”
It’s okay dude, I didn’t get a $19 Apple polishing cloth, either.