This game are sick.
The original Final Fantasy VII delivered plenty of shocking moments, and the Remake series will have to adapt or remove some truly outrageous and even salacious sequences.
We’ve already seen Cloud cross-dress and get an awkward hand massage, but here’s a look at seven more bewildering scenes we can’t wait to see in Remake.
“Quit slapping me! You old wench!!”
Tifa may be a master martial artist, but at one point in the original FF7, she gets into a slap battle against Scarlet, the director of Advanced Weaponry at Shinra.
While aboard a Shinra boat in FF7, Red XIII stands on his hind legs in a Shinra uniform, wobbling around claiming he makes “a fine human being.”
“Mr. Dolphin’ll jump you to the top of the pole!”
Tifa’s Limit Break, Dolphin Flurry, is already in FF7 Remake. Mr. Dolphin is 100 percent going to flip the entire squad up onto some scaffolding.
A true intellectual.
At the sunny resort town of Costa Del Sol, the party encounters mad scientist Hojo ... an odd ladies’ man who wears a lab coat at the beach.
In a boss fight at Rocket Town, the head of Shinra’s failed Space Program is hit by a truck in a comical fashion. Is FF7 Remake too realistic for this level of comedy?
The elephant-sized Moogle in the room.
Cait Sith is usually seen riding a huge Moogle, but his FF7 Remake cameo is just the tuxedo cat. Considering the obnoxious size of his mount, it’ll be interesting to see how it’s handled in Part 2.
It’s that much more awkward when you remember he’s piloted by Shinra exec Reeve Tuesti.
Vinny can be edgy, but less vampire, please.
Don’t let the coffin and monstrous transformations fool you, this superpowered former Turk is NOT a vampire. Will Square Enix dial it back? Or will the vampiric obsession of the late ‘90s persist?
FF7 Week is an Inverse celebration of the 25th anniversary of Square's landmark 1997 RPG.