7 outrageous FF7 scenes we can't wait to see in Remake Part 2

This game are sick.

Originally Published: 

The original Final Fantasy VII delivered plenty of shocking moments, and the Remake series will have to adapt or remove some truly outrageous and even salacious sequences.

We’ve already seen Cloud cross-dress and get an awkward hand massage, but here’s a look at seven more bewildering scenes we can’t wait to see in Remake.

7. Tifa vs. Scarlet slap battle

“Quit slapping me! You old wench!!”

Tifa may be a master martial artist, but at one point in the original FF7, she gets into a slap battle against Scarlet, the director of Advanced Weaponry at Shinra.

In a clean fight, Tifa would mop the floor with Scarlet. Maybe it should be a one-on-one boss fight where Scarlet pilots a robot instead?

6. Red XIII poses as a “fine human being”

While aboard a Shinra boat in FF7, Red XIII stands on his hind legs in a Shinra uniform, wobbling around claiming he makes “a fine human being.”

5. The Mr. Dolphin flip

“Mr. Dolphin’ll jump you to the top of the pole!”

Tifa’s Limit Break, Dolphin Flurry, is already in FF7 Remake. Mr. Dolphin is 100 percent going to flip the entire squad up onto some scaffolding.

4. Hojo goes to the beach

A true intellectual.

At the sunny resort town of Costa Del Sol, the party encounters mad scientist Hojo ... an odd ladies’ man who wears a lab coat at the beach.

3. Palmer gets demolished by a truck

...and survives?

“Oof!” would be a better line of dialogue.

Square Enix

In a boss fight at Rocket Town, the head of Shinra’s failed Space Program is hit by a truck in a comical fashion. Is FF7 Remake too realistic for this level of comedy?

2. Cait Sith’s giant Moogle

The elephant-sized Moogle in the room.

Square Enix

Cait Sith is usually seen riding a huge Moogle, but his FF7 Remake cameo is just the tuxedo cat. Considering the obnoxious size of his mount, it’ll be interesting to see how it’s handled in Part 2.

Cait Sith is also just painfully weird sometimes.

Square Enix

It’s that much more awkward when you remember he’s piloted by Shinra exec Reeve Tuesti.

1. Vincent’s vampiric veneer

Vinny can be edgy, but less vampire, please.

Square Enix

Is this a Blink-182 lyric or a fake vampire?

Square Enix

Don’t let the coffin and monstrous transformations fool you, this superpowered former Turk is NOT a vampire. Will Square Enix dial it back? Or will the vampiric obsession of the late ‘90s persist?

FF7 Week is an Inverse celebration of the 25th anniversary of Square's landmark 1997 RPG.

Thanks for reading,
head home for more!