James Pero

Gaming

Pwn some noobs inside this 265 lbs scorpion gaming chair

Adversaries will tremble when they see your horrifying high-tech chair... from laughter.

Sometimes, in the world of insane gaming products, there are items that don't ask for our attention as much as they threaten to poison you with their deadly insect venom if you don't bow to their terrifying multi-legged ergonomic design.

We're speaking, of course, about this very normal gaming rig made by a company called Cluvens. You may have noticed that the chair, if you want to call it that, is indeed modeled after the exoskeleton of a scorpion which by the company's own words, is an attempt at, "making [you] look like the ultimate villain."

Who wore it better?

VW Pics/Universal Images Group/Getty Images

Outrageous gaming rigs aren't necessarily anything new (for instance, Imperator has been making similar workstations for a while now), but I think we can all agree that this one has a special touch. Hear it from Cluvens' own mouth...

“Cluvens’ mission is to offer the most comfortable, highly conspicuous, and lowest cost of ownership computer cockpits to our customers.”

Cluvens' website

Cluvens' massive Scorpion gaming rig.

IW-SK zero-gravity esports gaming chair and workstation

Cluvens, which is currently only selling products in North America, is calling the this beast a "computer cockpit" and says it can support an ultra-wide 49-inch monitor or several 27-inch monitors. It is also large, clocking in at 265 lbs, 65 inches long, 47 inches wide, and 82 inches tall when it's completely unfurled.

If you're the type of person that can find lounging inside a huge scorpion relaxing, the chair also has a massage and heating function for extra comfort.

Shutterstock

$3,299

To no one's surprise, the giant over-the-top scorpion chair is very expensive.

According to Gizmodo and CNET, however, you can find it for the bargain price of $1,900 on Alibaba. Not bad for a living room-ruining purchase!

Bottom line

Is this chair expensive? Yes. Is it completely unnecessary? Absolutely. But here's the thing...

At a certain point in your life you'll likely be forced to reckon with your legacy, and in this particular case there's a choice: Will you go down as the "Scorpion Boy" or the "Scorpion King?"

Shutterstock

I think we know which one Cluvens wants you to be.

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