Another Shark Week is upon us. Yes, it’s that time of year where the most fundamentally sound concept takes over broadcast television. The idea is this: Show people sharks for a week. That’s it. The documentaries (scientifically accurate or no) don’t need to work on a second level because Lamniformes blow the human mind. And it has always been thus. Just ask America’s first great painter (sorry Trumbull), John Singleton Copley.
The Things to Wear
To keep you fashionable, comfy, and, let’s face it, hotter.
Now you, too, can own the winter hat that everyone on earth also owns.
As seen on TV worn by every undercover/on-the-run spy ever.
Look, they can’t all be insanely “cool” items, plus you’re totally gonna forget all about Father’s Day.
Real quick: where’s your best pair of cufflinks right now? It’s a trick question; you either don’t know or don’t own any. We have your back.
You know it, you love it, now cop it. Four times over.
I can personally attest to the fact this all-natural deodorant does not stop working after ~ 90 seconds like most of them.
Stop! Spending! One! Hundred! And! Fifty! Dollars! On! Sunglasses!
You should have all of these helpful lil’ trinkets handy if you know what’s good for you.
While we’re at it, stop drinking water from plastic bottles.
32. A BB-8 keychain
To match the little photo of BB-8 you carry around in your wallet.
You don’t realize you need a shoehorn until you really need a shoehorn. Don’t get caught out.
Now you can pay for stuff and look very cultured at the same time.
Seriously, what more could you possibly want?
I swear by these pens. They write smoothly as hell and you can lose as many as you want.
Perfect for cap collectors/people who want to look a little cooler while opening a beer.
What, you’re too good for a cute little bookmark that looks like a mythological dinosaur? Get outta here.
The most irritating, frustrating toy ever just got a little more attractive (and irritating and frustrating.)
Don’t strain your eyes or your relationships with seat-mates on a crowded plane ever again.
The Home Goods
Some cheap, quick, and effective upgrades to your living space.
For those who respect wood.
Your surfaces are filthy and you can barely watch Netflix anymore. TIme to fix that.
We all know you keep meaning to buy some proper pots but, honestly, who has the time?
Make even the most barren post-grad apartment look a little bit cozier.
Everyone I know owns one of these and I don’t ever want to understand what they’re for!
Sorry bud, you’re an adult now and you have to have a laundry hamper.
Cutting up a nice steak isn’t meant to make you sweat.
Save yourself from the tyranny of sponges and pruned-up sink fingers.
Sustainable and prevent coffee rings. They really can do it all (mostly these two things.)
You’re a mess, but it doesn’t have to be this way.
Millennials are killing bar soap. Don’t let it happen! Also, don’t let your soap get all soggy and gross.
Everyone needs to own at least one Mrs. Meyers product at all times. Sorry, it’s the law.
No judgment, but I know you’re still drinking whiskey out of your extremely faded college logo mug.
Literally everyone knows about those fake rocks now. It’s the first place they look. Keep your door key extra safe.
Things You Need to Read
Kindle, paperback, whatever, here are the best-priced books to devour over a slow weekend.
The best, scariest sci-fi novel in years. Soon to be a movie by the Ex Machina guy!
One of Joe Hill’s (Horns, The Fireman) more underrated horror novels.
One of the coolest, more emotional books in years by an author to keep an eye on.
A cool and creepy novel about a cult. Everyone loves cult books.
Book’s better anyway.
Things to Watch
Rent or buy these and catch up on Oscar season, or just enjoy some trashy B-Movie fun.
What do you MEAN you haven’t seen it yet?!
Truly the craziest, most violent, and low-key funniest movie of 2018 so far, and Vince Vaughn’s best role ever.
A dark and goofy movie from the director of The Lobster. If that was a twisted romcom, this is his twisted version of a horror film.
Yes, all of it!