The Mega Millions climbed to a $418 million jackpot on Tuesday after nobody came forward with a ticket that matched all six numbers in the grand prize draw. The prize is now the fourth largest in history, with the next draw scheduled for Friday.

It sounds like it’s worth a shot, but actually winning the prize is a whole other ball game. Official figures place the chances of winning the jackpot at a staggering 303 million to one. If you’re looking to win Wednesday’s Powerball at the same time, with a $440 million payout, you’re looking at odds of 88 quadrillion to one

Even if you focus your efforts on the Mega Millions, you have a far better chance of any one of the following:

Lightning strike: more likely than the lottery?

The odds used to be better. Before October 2017, players had to match five white balls from one to 75 and one red ball from one to 15. In this setup, the game had odds of 259 million to one. A series of changes that included the removal of five white balls and the addition of 10 red balls made the chances of winning the jackpot significantly worse.

If you do happen to win, you have a choice. You can have the whole thing as a lump sum, or you can choose to receive 30 payments over 29 years. If you pick the cash payout, you’ll receive an estimated $278 million before taxes are factored in.

All this pales in comparison to the largest Mega Millions draw in history. That accolade belongs to the $656 million draw from March 2012, which was shared between three winners in different U.S. states.

Photos via Getty Images / Chris McGrath, Getty Images

The sixth episode of American Horror Story: Apocalypse got a lot of love for returning to Season 1’s Murder House and bringing back some beloved characters while also advancing the Apocalypse plot. So how can Episode 7 top all that? By bringing back even more Coven characters, of course.

In “Return to Murder House,” Madison Montgomery and Behold Chablis visited the Season 1 setting and met everyone from Jessica Lange’s Constance Langdon to the Harmon family. They left after confirming that Michael really is the Antichrist, and realizing that it’s going to take everything they have to defeat him. That includes all the Coven witches and Behold’s fellow warlocks, but it might also mean a few additional characters.

If there’s one thing we should know about Michael Myers after 40 years and 11 Halloween movies it’s that this boogeyman never really dies. You can shoot him in the head, electrify him, or burn him to a crisp. None of it matters. There’s always another sequel, another chance to slash and stab his way through the suburbs come October 31, and another teenage girl to terrorize.

In the eyes of the feds, marijuana is most definitely still illegal, even as an increasing number of states have legalized the Schedule 1 drug. When California voters legalized medical pot way back in 1996, it seemed so culturally disruptive that few in the mainstream would expect America would looking straight at a pro-weed wave 22 years later.

What’s a devil-worshipping teenager supposed to do when it gets cold outside? For many of us with creepy proclivities October 1 simply marks the slow, delicious slide toward Halloween.

These are all the newly available horror series and films available on Netflix this October, from reboots of old favorites to dark British gems that haven’t wrapped their creeping tendrils around American throats yet. Prepare to sleep with the lights on all month.